Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I bet he comes in French.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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