do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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