Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize