tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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