if i can run in heels then i can drive
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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