And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
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My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
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We were licking ciroc off the poker table
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On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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