If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
