oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
