before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
