my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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