She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize