dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
