he shaved USA in his pubs
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
