I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
