everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Couch. On fire.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
