how can u be prego again
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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