So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
