a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
