Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
