please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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