Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I love you. Go after that dick
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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