I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
