As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
