Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
