I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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