Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
