this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize