i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
