nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
