grandma shit on top of the toilet
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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