I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
porn star boner night. come get it.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
