i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Blood and glitter go together right?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
