I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
