If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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