The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
smell my finger.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
