listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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