We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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