So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize