All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
