yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
