So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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