If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
