I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
