My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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