The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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