YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize