the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
