This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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