Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
A bitchslap is in order.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
