Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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