They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
