You work out of a Hotel?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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