Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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