dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
