I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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